GUESS WHAT?

UMARO PREGNANT!!!

*schoolgirl grunt*

Date:	2002-08-05 00:54
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

	umaro
	probability that umaro has masturbated today: 68% umaro's lucky number is: 23 umaro is most like the color #c985cc: username:
	by James

PRETTY PINK!

Hi. Me Umaro.

Umaro not feel very good today. Today, I do Kimahri's laundry for him. Umaro becoming SUCH a housewife- first Avon, now laundry! What next, minivan?

That not point. Anyway, I wash Kimahri's pants, and I find this inside it-

"Dear Kimahri Ronso,
You are formally invited to the Annual Cid Ball. You will be among many other high profile guests such as Setzer Gabbiani, Krile Baldesion, even the highly successful and equally lucrative Edea Cramer. We would very much appreciate an RSVP, and we do so hope to see you there next Thursday.

Signed, The Cids

P.S. Leave the Sasquatch at home."

THE WHAT? Who they think they are? Stupid Cids. At least I the only Umaro! Damn Cids, they not like Umaro, then they no get any lipstick samples!

But now Umaro worried. What if Kimahri choose Cids over Umaro? Umaro would feel so sad and useless. Like big dumb sack of Russet potatoes- not fresh potatoes either- the kind with eyes all over it and slime on the bottom of the bag.

Umaro and Kimahri devoted, though. Umaro sure he more important than Cids. But still...

Maybe Umaro can help persuade Kimahri.. with THIS! *proudly holds up leather bondage outfit*

Date:	2002-07-29 20:38
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	loved

Hi. Me Umaro.

Sorry I not post in so long. Been on vacation. It fun. Much happen with Umaro. Umaro got job now. Me Avon lady. Always been dream to make America beautiful. Mog and Umaro not speaking now either.

Umaro meet nice guy over internet. His name Kimahri. He talk a lot, but he cute. Plus, he blue. Me wonder if he taste like berry?

Date:	2002-04-29 20:45
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	full

Me Umaro. Hi.

Umaro eating Flan. Flan the candy of nature!

Date:	2002-04-26 23:27
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad

Me Umaro. Hi.

Umaro look in shiny mirror. Other Umaro look sad, and that make me sad. I cry. Umaro not look like the sasquatches on front of magazine. Umaro not a Vogue covergirl. Umaro feel sensitive. Umaro feel ugly and weak.

I call Mog. He tell Umaro that me IS ugly. Umaro cry for an hour. Stupid Moogle.

Umaro want be pretty.

But Umaro just big doof. Maybe I read too much Bell Jar. Sylvia Plath always get Umaro going. Stupid Poet. Anyway, me go smash and smoosh things now. Maybe throw Mog around. Umaro show him not to be emotionally abusive!

Date:	2002-04-26 19:11
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	accomplished

Me Umaro. Hi.

What I do today? Oh yes. Today I smoosh Pugs. Umaro no like Pugs. Pugs always act soo smart, just because they have lamps. Umaro could have lamp, if Umaro weren't afraid of bright light. Me also make bone carving. Sold for 200 Gil on eBay. 200 Gil good price, right?